Hence

Hello, I'm Clarise.
Just in case you think I'm a decent person:

1. I start things that I cannot (or will not, for some reason) finish. Hence, there is not a single thing I am amazingly good at. I have about a handful of mediocre, underdeveloped talents, though.

2. I am not a multitasker. On the contrary, I am extremely obsessive. Hence, my every activity demands 100% of me. And hence, if you give me two things to do all at once, I will promptly obsess my way to insanity.

3. My ultimate coping mechanism is to read books. For reasons I think is related to my relationship with my mother, I believe that people will like me better (and hence, my life will be better) if I am smarter.

4. I cannot talk about money. Hence, I will inevitably die very, very poor.

5. I know I should be in the missionary (or something like that), but I love myself too much to give myself up. Someday I will have to start thinking about other people. Grant me charity and selflessness, but not yet.

6. I am in desperate need to meet someone like myself-- not just someone who shares my interests, but someone who shares my reasons behind those interests. This quest drives me insane.

7. I am a sloth, but I secretly think that I have the right to be so because I deem my interests "important." Also, I believe to think about one's interests this way is just nauseating (What arrogance!) but I somehow cannot stop.

8. I honestly, sincerely believe that I am not qualified for anything. I refuse to wallow in self-pity, though. I'm working on the growth of my sad person, hence the books.