Transition

I wonder how a person goes about deciding to love someone. I wonder about that all-important, life-changing, pivotal moment when I am a perfectly sane and rational being one second, and a helpless captive to my emotions the next. I wonder, because I have never really noticed. I seem to have been blind to this transition. I have honestly never noticed, that I am starting to doubt the existence of this so-called deciding moment. Was it really ever up to me? Because, really, why would I voluntarily subject myself to all this agony? Why will I inflict pain upon my poor self when I can choose not to?

And why will I decide to love this someone, anyway? This someone who, just seconds ago, did not mean anything to me? I was complete even before I knew him. My life was perfectly well prior to meeting this someone, and yet here I am, all eager to devote my present and tomorrows to this person who might as well be a stranger. Why will I put my fate in his hands?

"The moment my eyes fell on him I was content."
--Emerson